Excuses. . . Excuses. . .


While I suffered my near seven-year writer’s block some things happened that may have shaped me into the person that I am today. Seriously, though, who am I kidding, everything I’ve done in my life has shaped me into the person that I am today. Regardless, I published my last book in 2013.

I know I’ve titled this Excuses, but really this is just a glimpse into what has been going on during the past few years.

Early on, during this time, I suffered a tremendous loss when my brother committed suicide. I haven’t been able to talk about it much, and I may elaborate on it at a later date, but he was twenty-two, and too young to die. He suffered from mental illness and experienced some early traumas that shaped his journey. Losing someone to suicide is the most jarring experience that anyone can experience.

In the three years that directly followed, my family experienced three other separate traumas. I don’t know if I will ever be able to share what happened then. I was in survival mode.

I had decided to pursue my degree. Unfortunately, because I also acquired a full-time job, I also had to pursue it at a slower pace. I love learning. As a teenager, I was a poor student. I lacked confidence in myself. I didn’t have a strong support system in high school, but in University, I flourished. I even had a 3.8 GPA. it felt unreal!

Unfortunately, worrying about my family, working full time, and returning to school left little bandwidth for writing creativity.

I was creative in other ways though. I planned my daughter’s quiñcenara, which was a mad hatter tea party theme. I planned bulletin boards at my job, and contests for small social media campaigns to spread awareness about my department. I fell in love with photography. I drew. I felt truly inspired at times.

When I sat down to write, however, I either stared at a blank page or wrote rubbish.

During this time, I read a lot, mostly for school, but I still read.

Then, my grandmother got really sick. My sister had been helping her, but I also wanted to carry some of that responsibility when it came to it. I knew with my family, it would be hard to get away. El Senor and I decided to build a home that would accommodate my grandma if needed. While we built, we sold our home fast. We moved in with my grandmother temporarily. Then a month before we closed on the house, my grandmother took a nasty fall and hit her head. After her hospital stay and rehab, my sister and I decided that she should come home to my house. Together, we shared her caregiving. She passed two weeks ago. We were a united team during her last year of life. It made it easier to deal with all of the hardship. I got to share some really meaningful moments with my grandmother over the past two years.

*As a side note, I’m not sure many men would undertake the journey we just traveled. My husband was amazing. He supported me. He was neglected by me, while I cared for my grandmother. He helped me in any way that he could. His heart is so beautiful. *

That’s it for now,

Be amazing.

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