Cyberbullying: It can happen to you and end with you.

According to Wikipedia: “Cyberbullying is the use of the Internet and related technologies to harm other people, in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner.”

We say,

     “Teens are out of control,”

     “How could they do that?”

     “When will it stop?”

I say,

     “With us.”

There is this confidence that possesses us when we get behind a computer screen. This anonymity and invincibility, that no matter what we do, we are untouchable. If someone does something that we don’t agree with, what do we do? We post it on Facebook, with screenshots, and or go to our blog and blast that person, rather than talking to them directly, privately.  We let ALL of our friends know one side of the story our side, so they can judge and attack that person. Sometimes we “take the high ground” and don’t mention the name of the person, but we give enough of the story so it doesn’t matter, everyone will know who we are talking about. Just remember, there are three sides to every story, you side, their side, and the truth.

This behavior isn’t limited to teenagers, and in recent months I’ve witnessed too many instances where grown adults are cyber bullying others. If you target someone online, and maliciously attack them, that is cyber bullying. Unless they have done something to you personally, what ever happened between them and someone else is none of your business. Part of bully behavior is ganging up on someone. Blasting someone because they offended your friend is not only unnecessary but rude.

People make mistakes. Standing up for what is right is completely different than crucifying someone for errors. People will attack you for no reason, that doesn’t mean you have to gather all your friends and return the favor. I don’t know about you, but I want to teach my children to be kind, gracious, forgiving, and generous. How can we do that if we don’t lead by example. I’m not saying let people walk all over you, if you are being harassed, report and block the person. You will feel 100% better not seeing the negativity. It’s exhausting to be a miserable person. It sucks all of your energy. It’s so not worth it! I decided a long time ago, that I would not surround myself with negative, dishonest people. I’ve had to walk away from a lot of friendships that weren’t healthy for me. But I feel like a stronger positive person in doing so.

I’ve been composing this post in my head for close to a month now. If we continue to idly stand by and allow people in our industry, (writers, publicists, bloggers and publishers) an industry that I LOVE, to behave this way, we are condoning it. Over time, it’s not going to be the happy community it is now. This needs to be said and we need to stop ignoring it. It is an issue not just in high school.

This is going on in everyday life. It starts with you and me.

7 comments

  1. bookpics4alba says:

    You’re so right.
    Though I beg to differ on some instances. Or maybe just one.

    I completely feel that ganging up on someone is completely unnecessary when said someone has wronged a friend of yours. BUT Showing your support to that friend? I think it goes without question that friends are friends for a reason.
    And some people show their support in different and weird ways than others might do.

    I’ve been trying NOT to post about this exactly because of that.
    Some might see it one way and others in a completely different way, but only the ones who are my friends and know me would really get it.

    So cheers for you and this post!
    I really believe ANY kind of bullying is WRONG.

    I’ve been bullied, I’m still am sometimes, and was bullied by a person I considered a FRIEND just last month.

    It stinks, it hurts and I think it is absolutely ridiculous.

    I’ll keep standing beside the people that are positive and that truly care for me as I know they will.

    I love you!!!!
    -hugs.-

    • miacastile says:

      Yes, show your support, but I’ve seen people go out guns blazing blasting people, when it’s none of their business, and that is bullying. it’s slander, and immature. and granted some people are immature, I guess, it boils down to you get what you give. and that’s my point. I’m so sorry that you were bullied. You are the sweetest person, and definitely don’t deserve that. Sometimes, though it’s just a test for you, I love you, too. :) thanks for commenting

  2. Tasha Turner says:

    Great points. We need to remember there are real people reading what we do and that we have only 1 side to the story. As adults we can choose to be good or bad examples to kids/Tweens. I think if more people took a moment to wonder if they’d be doing/saying the same things to a person in front of them we’d have a nicer Internet. Seriously how many of us when we hear bad rumors about a friend take time to track down the person who started it and then collect a “posse” to go after that person threatening them with physical violence or rape or to harm family members? If we would not do it in person we should not be doing it online. If we are doing it in person we should see a therapist and get help.

    • miacastile says:

      Yes! We rarely say the things in person that we say online. Thinking of how our comments would affect us if they were said to us, should be enough to remind us of our actions.

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